Treachery

You were a breath of fresh carbon monoxide...

and I was so in love with the big picture,

that I failed to pay attention to the small details.  

Human intentions are so hard to decipher. 

You'll solve a rubik's cube five time's before you discover someone's true intentions. 

That's because:

You only see as much as a person allows you to.  

You only know as much as a person shows.  

When you let someone into your life.... 

You expose yourself physically, emotionally, spiritually, and/or mentally to another

You take in a mouthful of air...

You cross your fingers and hope, pray, believe that it's oxygen and not carbon monoxide.

but there's no way of telling.  

...until you're found on the bathroom floor barely breathing.

That breath of fresh air was really just carbon monoxide.  

And you foolishly breathed.  

You fearlessly breathed.  

You blindly breathed. 

That's the thing about betrayal...

It can't be foreseen.  

It'll have you replaying a time period of your life from three different views,

but at the time you just had one.  

It'll have you questioning your own instincts.

but there's nothing wrong with trusting.  

Trust is given and once it is lost.... 

it's lost for the better good.  

Everyone wants to be trusted.  

But not everyone is worthy of trust.

All you can do is:

Take in a mouthful of air...

Cross your fingers and hope, pray, believe that it's oxygen and not carbon monoxide.

Remember what doesn't kill us makes us stronger.  

and when comparing and contrasting human intentions to carbon monoxide,  

you never really know what's in the breath of fresh air you breathe..

until you're found on the bathroom floor barely breathing. 

playing multi-Player games solo

you come and go, 

but you're sure to go every time you do come. 

you heal and you cut, 

but you cut more than you do heal.

and the scar tissue never does get to form because all of my wounds you love to reopen.

you tell more than you show,

and what ever you tell, you rarely ever do show.

you'll whisper the truth and yell the lie.  

you'll tell me what you think i want to hear before you tell me what you feel.

"i can't handle the truth"...

or maybe you just can't handle speaking the truth? 

i read between the lines and have selective hearing. 

every lie needs a believer.

every truth needs a listener.  

what's a lie without a believer? 

what's the truth without a listener?  

i'm a good listener... just not a fan of half truths.

i'm a firm believer.... of what can be proved. 

you're a pretty lie.... i never really fully believed.  

you're truly a fool... entertaining to watch.  

you're playing multi-player games solo. 

no one wants to play love games with a cheater, baby  

no one wants to believe lies, baby  

no one wants to hear half truths, baby

Lessons

And I learned; Through you I learned. I learned about patience, and the toll it can take on a person to patiently wait. Patiently wait for the unknown. I learned that some battles are pointless to fight- especially the one's who's outcome have been decided before-hand. I learned that at times, a person is so focused on a specific aspect of the future that they neglect the present. I learned that at times people let their emotions get the best of them and say things they "don't mean". Those things that they "don't mean" are cruel words that disguise their underlying fears. I learned that many times people don't understand or can't relate because you don't give them the chance to. I learned that many times silence is the best answer. I also learned that sometimes silence is the only answer, because there's no way of proving that I'm not from Venus and you're not from Mars. We truly only are as different as you've made us out to be.. and I'm only as non understanding as you've allowed yourself to understand.

Broken Whole's

It was just you and I.

You were still you, 

I was still I. 

I was still yours, 

you were still mostly mine. 

You were forced to make decisions.

You were forced to break commitments. 

Got high to cope with the lows,

lost it all in between. 

I was forced to keep your secrets. 

I'd expose too much of me,

if I exposed a fraction of you. 

Binded by your actions. 

All your actions started clashing.

We tried to make amends,

but you were on the road, 

and i would never make it to your shows,

Clearly I was wrong, 

and all my fears you exposed. 

But you know that I wasn't wrong about it all. 

Plus, I got to keep my soul. 

It's very clear to me now- 

I was never broken, 

and you were never whole. 

The Chronicles of the Unwritable: Part II

I fell in love once. I mean, I think it was love. I met him at an art show in Vanc city some time three Decembers ago. It was like -20 degrees outside and inside his chest cavity, too. I was sitting down in a corner, doing something on my phone, way too many drinks in. He came up to me, took my drink out of my hand and said to me "Alcohol is bad for you". He handed me a water bottle and took a seat next to me. He then proceeded to light a cigarette and finish my drink. I learned a lot of things that night. Actually, I've learned numerous things since that night. Through him and his mistakes, I learned. He looked at me right in the eyes and said "You. Let me tell you something. I'm going to be the worst thing that will and can ever happen to you, but I'm going to be the most memorable one, too." At that point, I knew he was crazy and a little under the influence. I was intrigued. There was something about him. In his eyes, to be more specific. There was something in the ambiance, the lights, the music, there was something. For some strange reason our stars aligned that night and fate decided to put us both there at that very moment.  That night we both chose our demise, he choose chemicals, substances, and the limelight... I chose him- Knowingly and willingly. I was his breath of fresh air. He ought to pollute mine, but i still breathed... knowingly and willingly I breathed. He gave me the answers to the test so that I wouldn't have to stick around and learn the lesson. I, I willingly threw the answers away. He wasn't going to rob me of the knowledge and experience. I wanted the lesson. I wanted the test. I wanted the answers. He was the lesson. He was the test. He was the answer.