This is what the inside of my head looks like...
I've lost a handful of pieces:
As a results of how many times you have -
broken me up
and
tore me apart,
just to piece me back together.
It's like my heart is some sort of special edition Lego you like to lay out on your work desk and assemble just to dissemble.
It leaves me at a tangent.
To the point where I've mastered the art of breaking and bending but not falling apart
You see there's pieces that one can do with out...
Lessons learned in a dark room where reality was within my grasp but I let it slip through my fingers.
The illusion of you was always better than the real picture,
but the illusion of you has long eluded me.
I left it in a dark room with various fragments of my heart.
Left them to keep what ever's left of your ruined soul company.
For, we both knew our forever would be temporary but enjoyed the amnesia it embraced us with.
I get lost just to be found.... and every time you lose it you come to find me.
You were the illusionist in search of the truth... and I was too blind to be deceived.
You fed my insanity while I tempted your temptations.
You found ways to adapt to my madness and I found ways to feed your fire.
You were my distraction from the heavens and I was the fossil fuel for your creativity..
Observations made in a dark room where reality is within my reach but i still let it slip through my fingers...
Because the illusion of you is still better than the vivid picture..
and every time I think that illusion has eluded me....
I find you lost inside me.
Under the influence,
above the ignorance,
and approximating my limit.
Why don't you clear your head?
Throw away all those preconceived notions...
Make some space for some factual knowledge.
Do what you have to do. ..
Just make sure you always know more than what you think you know.
Too many people think they know, but don't really know...
Those people cheat themselves...
They cheat themselves from so much knowledge.
Free your mind from all those preconceived notions the world has encrypted into you...
and allow yourself to learn.
Explore, Experience, Educate yourself.
We were talking about dreams....
about love and trust and he said he wasn't ever really into love..
"Humans love too much, but don't ever trust enough.. Love is for the cowards and the day dreamers; Love is easy, trust takes courage. Nobody wants to trust now a days, they just want to love and be loved in return".
Surely a topic of that matter is debatable...
but who was I to argue with him?
I was a fool for love and he had dark, mysterious, shallow eyes.
One's that you can look into for hours and never truly see the end of the soul.
His eyes were deceitful and I spent more time trying to read them than listening to the words his lips would utter.
For every truth he spoke his eyes would tell two lies.
"Trust in me, but leave your heart out of it... because the second you start to trust me with an organ who's sole existence is vital to your existence, it is no longer called trust... then it's just plain old love... it's psychopathic love..."
He laughed.
The ground that I laid on shook...
and he pointed to the stars, but I was looking at his hands.
I really wish feelings came with expiration dates... like "use by this date" because at this point it just feels like my heart is an ice box full of moldy, off-taste, off-color feelings that are just fucking expired. I don't clean the fridge out because I keep thinking to myself maybe they might still be edible. You ever pull something out of your fridge and smell it to see if it's still good but can't really tell so you think to yourself "ehh, what the hell" and have to taste it to tell if it is expired or isn't because there's really no other way of telling?? well, i'm pretty sure that fucking metaphor summarizes my love life right now.
