Loud Brain with a Quiet Mouth

you write so beautifully.. the inside of your head must be a terrible place..

why, yes.. yes it is.
it's home to a million and one ideas that have yet to be thought.
it's home to a thousand thoughts processed minute after minute, analyzing, and over analyzing.
from the inside my mind is constantly making what it can from the world outside.
i think too much... but i much rather think too much than not think enough. people will tell you that you're over analyzing things like that's a bad thing. there's no such thing as thinking too much. there's no wrong in analyzing things from 10 different points of views. most people, they just don't think enough. no they don't think enough. so they'll sabotage your mind because y'all don't think a like. but there's nothing wrong with that. you can think a bit, think a lot, or not think at all. it's all up to you... after all it is your mind. think what you want. think as much as you want. but don't say everything you think out loud. you have to run your thoughts through filters before sharing them with the public. master that skill. you're a slave to the words you say. shelter your thoughts, they belong to you, and only you, until the moment that you open your mouth. always make sure your brain is 10x louder than your mouth. always.

untitled poem, but not because you were unworthy

it's 2 AM and i just want to make love, but you're up playing the piano... 

like i won't be gone tomorrow. 

i'll be gone tomorrow. 

"you'll be back."

"yeah, you keep saying that."

one of these "last time's" is really going to be the "last time"

all i ask is that you mercy me.

if you're going to kill me, kill me with the pen...

but then revive me in the bed.

"write for me."

"live for me."

"write me a poem." 

"give me life."

you inspire me just to drain me.

"you don't make any sense." 

"you just can't make any sense of it."

back and forth, then back at it again. 

"you're going to miss me when i'm gone."

"i'll be missing by the time you're gone."

let's agree to disagree. 

"touch me"

"open up"

stop it. 

"you keep writing these poems about me for your other boys."

"you keep singing songs about me to those other girls."

shut up and just come to bed. 

Warm Whispers

warm whispers that yell the cold truth.... 

the type's that keep your soul warm through cold nights. 

but, who's to blame? 

surely not the monster for inflicting pain.

you're selfish. 

i'm complacent.

match made in heaven... but we won't ever make it there. 

no we won't ever make it there.

warm whispers that yell cold truth...

some times when we touch i can feel you holding me close in attempts to keep my mind from wandering off.

you have my attention now, but how long can you hold it for?

how long can you hold me for? 

warm whispers that yell the cold truth.... 

my head is spinning and it's all because of you. 

5 AM in toronto, you used to be the one i would run to. 

now there's no where to run to.....

"run faster".

warm whispers that yell the cold truth...

i need you to pull me close now in hopes of relocating my mind which seems to be..so far away. 

it seems to wander off as soon as you do. 

i have your attention now, but how long can i hold it for?

how long can i hold you for?

warm whispers that yell the truth... 

promise to hold on for two seconds longer than you do. 

just tell me where to run to when the one i'm running from is the one who i used to run to.

warm whispers that yell the truth.... 

i've been here before. 

and you have too. 

warm whispers that yell the cold truth... 

one day my warm whispers won't keep you warm at night. 

one day the cold truth will turn your heart into stone.

Collateral Damage

years ago...
around the time i thought i was wise beyond my years... i recall .....
looking at you straight in the eye and saying that i was going to witness the world. i remember, getting a feeling in my gut, like i was destined for more... i said let's go. let's go somewhere new. far. far away... but you were too afraid of heights... you hate(d) planes, and motion. and lights. and anything that had to do with change. and i did and do too. but perhaps back then i was searching for an escape route to the constant battles within and with myself... and you, you just managed to get caught in between those battles.. something like collateral damage.. yeah, like collateral damage. presently, i realize i was wrong for that, because you had your own issues... and instead of helping you cope, i just added to them. like "its 2 AM, why aren't you home?" "it's only 11 PM in Vancouver can we discuss this tomorrow?". of course we couldn't... because there were never enough hours in "tomorrow" for us to straighten out all the things i'd neglect. like how your parents were mid divorce and i was busy with one's that didn't even know the date of my birthday, when you never missed one. how many have i missed by now? enough, and one too many. cause i've been around the world, but still consider you home. "you're so full of it. you're so full of it." "i'm so full of it. i'm so full of it. i know. but look. just look at me. i'm still me." but i won't pretend i know what i look like from the inside of your head. no angles can do justice to this position i'm in... there's no "good side" to me from the direction you're looking at me. i'm guilty. i'm guilty. i'm guilty. don't make me tell you different because you know i will. don't do that again. again. and again. you always call and set me up.. it's like you're in love with the ugly lie only cause i tell it from my pretty mouth. hold on. let me finish while it's fresh in my head. stop calling. i'm writing from my car and no i can't answer. everything is bound to go down hill if i answer.  

The Chronicles of the Unwritable: Resurrection

one day they'll put us both in a box. 

i'll be neatly kept and you won't look so well, 

but that's just because you put us both through hell.

"what do you see in me Jenn?"

i see what can only be seen if you're looking with your eyes closed. 

i love the way you smile with your eyes. 

i love the way you talk with your body. 

"i'm no different, i'm no different Jenn."

of course you're not different, you are you.

i like you.

why would you want to be different?

who's different anyways?

i love you.

with your bruised ego, emotional baggage, broken soul, and all. 

i have band-aids.

i'll help you unpack.

i'll glue you together.

but you have to let yourself be loved. 

you have to let yourself be loved. 

because one day they'll put us both in a box. 

and when i'm done with you...

you'll be neatly kept and i probably won't look so well. 

i won't look so well, 

and that's just because you put me through hell.