Out of Focus

What is it that's tearing up your insides? I can see it in your gaze.... the way you glance at the open with those cold, depthless, green eyes.... I feel the presence of your body and the absence of your mind.. Which leads me to wonder....Are you completely out of reach? Has this all gotten out of hand? I feel your glare pierce right through me- and I'm left feeling so... transparent. As if I was made out of glass and my insides were empty. I feel your face slide between the tips of my fingers.. but I don't touch you. My lips and tongue assemble words and phrases but they don't move you... Not the way they used to. So here we lie... in the present, slowly becoming a part of the past... As if we didn't have plans for the future.... As if we hadn't done, and been through, it all. As if I wasn't at some point in time the fine focus of your distorted visions.... Now reality is distorted and I'm the one out of focus. But I still lie in this bed.... And watch you stare out at the open. Every time you look into my eyes I can hear you yell..... The room is filled with piercing screams of silence. And all I can do is look away... because we are looking at the same picture, but we're not seeing the same thing. Forgive me.... for I never found the right words to describe to you my world with you in it... No, I never did. I never knew where to touch you to numb the pain. No, I never did... I never opened my eyes to all the signs that you were slipping away... No I never did. So now I'm forced to open them and watch you as you slip away.... into this world, and out of my .. sight. And I hope that you stay.. focused.... and never let what's important step out of sight. Don't let the picture get distorted... Don't let your goals go unaccomplished... Don't let your dreams be only vivid when your eyes are closed... I hope you never forget what's important. You stay focused..... 

Possible Impossibilities

"Cause when I'm with you I see sounds and smell colors"... Surely, a phrase like that can be left open for misinterpretation... But, it just means that you bring out the best of me. When I'm with you I can accomplish the impossible. You challenge my limits. You spark a certain sensation inside of me, and I don't know what to call it.... It makes me want to do and be better. I like who I am when you're around... Everything seems to flow so naturally. Our connection is so "raw, unedited, unfiltered...". Every time I look into your eyes, spark fly, I feel fire rushing through my veins. Every time we touch it feels like gravity doesn't exist... You take me so high..... And you hold me there... It's like, coming down is not an option. When you're around time freezes- and all the forces in the universe unite.... and the closer you get, the farther the idea of what is "impossible" is pushed away.. into another dimension. 

The Perfect Enemy

The kisses that you place on my lips silence the roars of the outside world. Your kisses are laced with amnesia and they tend to make me forget that you are.... the enemy. When it gets quiet outside, I can hear what's on your insides, nothing..... But your kiss.. it still rids me of my common sense. And i'm left feeling so.. numb.. and powerless. I find myself caught in a world of illusion; In which you've led me to believe that: I can't beat you, so I might as well join you. So i sleep.. with you.. the enemy. Convinced that we can form some type of truce. Perhaps, i can find peace in the emptiness inside of you ... And perhaps, you can make something out of the meaningless chaos that's within me... It's crazy, I know.... But your kiss has led me to believe it; Because when you kiss me I forget that you are... The enemy. The way our tongues twist has me fooled... It's lead me to believe that we can make some type of truce in which both of us can win.. But we can't.... So you kiss me... Again.. and Again.. Almost as if to remind me that you rather be the perfect enemy than the inadequate lover.... And as soon as i come to grips with myself and come to realize that.. You just kiss me again... And i forget everything, all over again... I let myself get caught in this world of illusion... Because your kiss makes me forget.. and I never really know which one you are.. Some days you're the perfect enemy.. Others you're just the lousy lover.

Situations

The places where we go, the people that we meet, the situations that we encounter all mold us into the people that we are, and would like to be. Whether they do this directly or indirectly it solemnly depends.... Surround yourself with greatness; that itself won't make you great, but it can, and hopefully does, motivate you to be great. Visit new places and take a piece of them with you- whether it's material or experience, take something with you- Smile at strangers. Complement people with upside down smiles plastered on their faces. Complement people with smiles on their faces, too. Who cares if your socks don't match? Wear them anyways. Wear your favorite dress twice, three times, four times, wear it until you find a new one that makes you feel greater than that one did. Every road has cracks but if you're focused on the cracks in the road chances are you'll miss the scenery from your side view mirror. When things don't add up, start subtracting. If something doesn't make you happy change it... and if you can't change it, deal with it, and find happiness else where. Life is a work in progress in which time is of the essence and the deadline arrives unannounced, unknown, and with no forewarning... there's no fast forwarding or rewinding it. There's just hope for a better future and acceptance of the past- good or bad. There's also making the most out of today- deal with the cards you're dealt- adapt- overcome- achieve. 

support

got the world in one hand, and your hand in the other. 

there's this state of perfect equilibrium that i'm trying to attain- 

in that state i can shoulder all the weight and strain the world has to place on me and still hold you, too. 

hold you at a position that you are weightless- because you shouldn't be the one that adds pressure or burdens me.... your hand should only serve me as leverage - it should prevent me from tipping over and support me when i'm just about ready to give up- it should not lessen, but rather make all the pressure, strains, and burdens this world has placed on my being seem tolerable. 

sometimes i'm unsure if i can ever reach that state of perfect equilibrium ... 

i can shoulder all the weight this world has placed on me. 

some of your actions and words burden me... and i try to carry them all... i try to accept the reasons for them all... but i know it's just a matter of time... at any given point, i am bound to collapse.