5AM Voice Memos

sometimes at night i lose myself within an ellipsis of thoughts....  

i find myself plotting on ways to innovate and give new definitions to old words i thought i already knew the meaning of but did'nt: because it's been three hundred and eighty five nights and my mouth has never told you it loves you but my body couldn't keep itself from blurting it out loud and i think sometime along the way your soul picked up on it.  

sometimes at night i can hear the minutes talk. they say it's been too long since they felt your flesh on my flesh. yet, time has yet to erase the feel of your lips as they trace their way down my spine. and honestly i don't think it ever will. i pray it never does. 

i swear to a god whom i don't even know to exist that you've given a meaning to every grain of sand that has fallen from the hour glass into a pool of existence that will never cease to exist. 

i am lost with no desire to be found... and i don't know a word that could describe what i have found; but i swear, it's like everything and everyone i've ever loved and lost, found a way to evolve and then come back to me in the form of a single human being. 

 

a moment.

my relationship became too private.  

the words too explicit to write. 

probably because the feelings got to deep and real to even attempt to describe. 

i stopped trying to decipher shit in certain aspects of my life..... not because of lack of interest, or lack of curiosity even.

rather more, because things make sense and i've allowed my self to get lost in these moments. to get caught within the moment. i'm living in the moment.