self love.
loving you is easy…… loving myself, not so much.
loving you is easy…… loving myself, not so much.
i sip in and it spills out.
call me out on my dishonesty if i tell you that i’m happy with the bed i’ve made.
call me out if i tell you that i haven’t been in bed with the enemy..
because i’ve lied a thousand times.
what difference does it make if i tell a lie when you know the truth?
why does my heart have to be broken for you to want to listen to me?
why do i have to hurt for you to want to
read me?
why? why do i find pleasure in the pain ?
maybe because that’s the only place i feel your love.
thats the only fucking place i’ve felt your love.
where have you been;
or how have you been,
maybe that’s a better place to start?
people ask me about you.... they expect for me to talk about your failures.
instead i tell them of your success,
that’s a better story to tell... if i have to tell it.
cause hate never tore us apart,
we both had too much love to give.... even if it didn’t keep us together.
we both had too much life to live.... we just couldn’t share it together.
my hands are tainted, i realize as i flip through the pages. i’d never point a finger at you.
why do i always crave your type of chaos?
why do i always find myself wanting to be consumed by your flame?
perhaps i need you to extinguish my pride, my prejudice.
so i can rise from the ashes the woman i want to be.
i’m not ok so please don’t ask me, so i don’t have to pretend to be.
-me to everyone