devils advocate

please, talk to me.

tell me all the things i hate to hear but need to.

cause i rather hear them from you. i need to hear them from you.

nothing but the truth, but the truth cuts and that wound stings.

i don’t want to write these words anymore.

i don’t want to write these words about you anymore.

look what they cost me.

look what they’ve done to me.

everything i ever wanted came true when i no longer was. when i no longer was.

you’ve heard these words before.

i’ve felt that hurt before.

i don’t want to hurt no more.

i don’t want to write no more.

cause it’s me vs me and this time you can’t intervene.

this time you can’t intervene.

i wish you’d intervene.

influentials/

pardon me: 

for my lack of influences, 

for being under the influence.   

 

said you’re over over when you called. 

put you over over when you call.  

never under under when you come. 

 

brought it back so we could move forward.  

out the box, but we go in circles.  

feel for you, the antonym of love. 

but love and hate are synonymous.  

 love and hate are so synonymous.

flip the page and i write on.  

 

  

 

unavailable to you.

don’t call my phone.

and if you do and it goes straight to voicemail know that i’m not unavailable, just unavailable to you.  

don’t test my patience cause now a days i don’t have a lot.  

i avoid you. more than i avoid my reflection. that’s a lot to say. and i don’t say a lot these days.  

i got tired of making the same mistakes, cause they all start and end with you.  

that says more about me than it does of you.  

 

white lies.... white lies...  

brought me to my darkest days. 

but the truth set me free. 

and if curiosity killed the cat,  

just know that satisfaction brought him back.  


 

fight or flight.

quiet now, settle down. 

all the things i shouldn’t say, i say them twice. and pray they resonate.

listen.... for once.

it’s hard to love you on the days that i don’t love myself.  

it’s hard to love you when you don’t love yourself.  

it’s hard to listen to you over the voices in my head. 

have to lose you to find myself.  

speaking in past tense,  

i had to lose you to find myself.  

let me say it again, … i had to lose you to find myself.